Scary Stories to Tell Nobody in Particular
About Me
How I eat a corndog:
Step 1: Remove the skin.
Step 2: Eat the innards.
Step 3: Eat the skin.
Why I didn’t have friends in middle school:
In the darkness I heard them coming
Girls in pink beyond the door
Ushered in amid discussing
What to watch for our sleepover.
I so proudly raised my arm
And told them I have just the thing
Then I revelled in their trauma
As we watched the Human Centipede.
Strangest thing I’ve ever done:
Reality dating shows. People had opinions.